


Belongings

by JasnNCarly



Series: Jason and Carly's World [8]
Category: General Hospital
Genre: F/M, JasnNCarly, My OTP, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-25
Updated: 2007-05-25
Packaged: 2020-07-19 22:45:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19981768
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JasnNCarly/pseuds/JasnNCarly
Summary: When this story takes place will become apparent right from the beginning...





	Belongings

Something in Carly was breaking the moment she saw Jason swaying silently with Elizabeth Webber.  
  
 _Little Lizzie? That's who he's picked?_  
  
She stared in disbelief, tears filling her eyes, as she imagined how long the two had been together. Imagined how long she had been thinking of their future together and...he was with her. Carly wanted to storm into Kelly's and break them apart, yelling every obscenity she had ever heard, every single thing she thought of both of them. But rather than make an even bigger fool of herself...she drew in a deep breath and slowly backed away from the door.  
  
 _{Don't lie to me  
Even if it's gonna make me cry  
Say what you mean  
Even if it hurts me deep inside   
We've been good friends for years  
And I hold that dear  
But you cannot end this night   
Without giving me a chance to tell ya   
How I feel inside}_  
  
~*~  
  
imagine the conversation which was about to ensue. Even though he did not want to, he was sure Carly would make him explain himself and everything he did.  
  
Because the moment she looked at him with betrayal in her eyes, sadness in her body language, he would have to make it right.  
  
He slowly pulled away from Elizabeth, smiling sympathetically, "You ok?"  
  
"Better." Liz replied, offering a weak grin, "Let me guess...you have to go?"  
  
"Yeah, I do." Jason nodded, squeezing her arms, "I'm sorry. It's just--there's something I've got to take care of."  
  
She bowed her head, agreeing softly, "Okay."   
  
"Call me later, all right? Let me know you made it home?"  
  
"No problem." Liz's grin was a little more genuine as she replied. She watched in joyful silence as he headed towards the door, stopping him only once to say, "Jason?"  
  
He turned to her.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
~*~  
  
 _Valuable? What a load of bull...._  
  
Carly's negatively thoughts consumed her as she ventured away from the window and turned back to the tiny room of solace. The image she received last night was infuriating her. She wanted to make Jason pay, wanted him to feel the same kind of pain she felt while watching them, but she could not.  
  
Jason opened his eyes just in time to catch a hint of her blond hair as she rushed away from the door. Immediately, he knew what she thought. Bowing his head slightly, Jason could only   
  
Painfully, there was still fight in her. A fight warning her that if Elizabeth did not drive a wedge already, her actions would. So rather than go home to AJ or to Jake's to find a new 'boy on the side', Carly ended up here. Making only a phone call to Bobbie, she had headed straight to this room and away from anything outside of it.   
  
Checking once again to make sure the door was locked, she hugged herself tightly and thought about the last thing to happen _here_.   
  
A small, sad smile spread across her lips as she recalled being here with Jason. He finally admitted she was right while they watched Hannah's work nearly catch Sonny or Jason being arrested below. Or how he had finally said thank you for saving him. She laughed softly, angrily to herself, "And Elizabeth is the thanks you get, Caroline."  
  
Pouting to herself, she climbed onto the small bed and lied on her side facing the window. Tears begin to fall once again as she pictured him standing there. His small, dangerous smile directed towards her along with his deep blue eyes while the moonlight spotlight his every movement.   
  
Again, Carly imagined the life they could have had....if Jason had been there at Jake's that night instead of AJ. And drowning in sorrow and self pity, Carly's tormented thoughts and broken heart willed her to sleep. To dreams where life was not so painful and complicated.  
  
 _{So you're seeing her  
What's this the, third or second date?  
Is it serious?  
If it is your making a big mistake  
Can you be truthful when   
your alone with her and look into her eyes  
If you tell me that you don't think of me it would come as a surprise}_  
  
~*~  
  
Bobbie shook her head vehemently, repeating herself, "She said nothing, Jason. Only that she needed to be alone and wanted me to take care of Michael."  
  
He let out a long sigh, placing his hands on his hips, "I've got to find her. Before she does something--"  
  
"Stupid?"   
  
Jason grinned slightly, nodding, "Yeah."  
  
"Well, I don't know what to tell you, sweetie. Except that you need to go everywhere you could possibly think of until you find her." Bobbie instructed easily, frowning when noticing his nervous eyes, "Did something happen? _Something_ that would make her do something stupid?"  
  
"I think..." He trailed off, remembering her quick retreat, "She may have got the wrong idea about someone in my life."  
  
The moment he replied she was shaking her head in disapproval.  
  
"What?"  
  
"You've got to end this, Jason." Bobbie answered angrily to his completely surprise, "You two are playing a very dangerous game. And one of you is going to end up very hurt, if it doesn't end soon. By your decision, you and Carly." Staring at him with concern, she continued in a very motherly tone, "Jason, if you love her," Bobbie smiled at his surprised eyes, wanting to tell him anyone could see it, "Stop this. Make her stop what she's doing to herself. I'm begging you."  
  
There was a long, silent pause between them.  
  
"I will. I just--I have to find her first."  
  
"Well, if I had a list of every place you two went together, I might be able to--" Bobbie saw something click for Jason mentally and instantly, "What is it?"  
  
~*~  
  
 _"Michael, would you please hurry? You're going to be late!" Carly called out while continuing into the living room, slipping a heel on each foot, "Sometimes I wonder if he's a little girl with all the time he takes in front of the mirror."  
  
"He must take that after his mother." His voice joked, his footsteps approaching behind her.  
  
Carly mumbled, rolling her eyes, "You're not even polite in my dreams."   
  
"What?"  
  
She turned around to his amused grin and nearly sunk into the floor. Nothing was more beautiful to her than when he was staring at her with anything but anger. Shrugging off her own comment, she crossed her arms, "Nothing."  
  
"Right, nothing." Jason laughed, placing his hands on her hips and drawing her to him, and closed the distance between them, "Nothing with you is always something, Carly."  
  
She squinted her eyes at him, running her hands up his arms and around his neck, "Can't you just once not talk to me like a best friend? Pretend that you love me and you're trying to impress me."  
  
"I do love you." Jason said softly, boring his eyes into hers, "And if I impress you now, Michael's going to need therapy for the rest of his life."  
  
Carly laughed to herself, bowing her head, and asked the one question she knew he would answer the way she wanted to hear it, "Do you ever regret that night at Jake's? You know... you getting me pregnant with Michael and everything after?"  
  
"No." His answer was immediate and sincere, "You two are the best thing that's ever happened to me."  
  
"As if I wrote it myself."_   
  
~*~  
  
 _{Can you tell me that I'm not her  
Say I'm not the one who completes your world  
Who should share your name  
Who should wear your ring   
When I've always been your girl  
Can you tell me I'm not the one  
To be the mother of your unborn son  
May not have the tie but there's no denyin' that you feel the same  
Cause I've always been your girl}_  
  
The clerk did not have to give him the description of the mystery woman staying in _that_ room. Jason knew it was her the moment the idea occurred to him earlier. With a nod, he thanked him and headed up towards the room.  
  
As he did, everything was coming at him quickly. Bobbie's words, Carly's disappearance, and...the kiss. The kiss he could not forget no matter what he did. The kiss he could not ignore no matter how much he tried to will it away.   
  
The clueless yet apologetic look on Carly's face as she said she never _meant_ to drive him crazy. The excitement and shock in her eyes the moment she pulled away. And, of course, her admittance once again that she was in love with him.  
  
But as usual, he was lost. When it came to her, them, and whatever else which had come to be because of what they felt, made him feel lost. What he felt for her was real, but so strong and pure he was not sure how to identify it.  
  
It could not be love. Because this was nothing close to what he felt for Robin. Robin was the woman he had loved, and she never made him feel like this. She had made him feel safe, drew out his emotions to the surface with ease and grace, and it was innocent.  
  
Carly was different. Nothing about her was safe, and every time she drew out his emotions it was for a horrible reason that he would eventually forgive her for. And everything about her was dangerous.   
  
_If_ he trusted her, he knew it may be the end of him. _If_ he loved her, he knew it would be the biggest risk he ever took. _If_ he was with Carly, his heart would no longer be safe. Because if anything ever happened to her, if by accident or her own accord, he was not sure he could deal with it.  
  
All those thoughts went away the moment he approached the door. He knocked softly, attempting to turn the door knob, "Carly? Open the door, it's me."  
  
~*~  
  
"Come on, Carly, open up."  
  
Her eyes slowly fluttered open, leaving the security of her dreams to be confronted with the hurtful emotions of his real presence. She tightened her jaw, curling into a bigger ball in the bed, and gave him not a hint she was there.  
  
"Would you open the door? We need to talk."  
  
 _So you can tell me your in love with Elizabeth Webber?! I don't think so._  
  
"I know you're in there."  
  
 _And? That doesn't warrant you an all day pass in the door, Jase, sorry._  
  
"I'm sorry about what you think you saw, okay? But it's not what you think."  
  
 _Thought I saw?! You got a lot of nerve!_  
  
Furiously, Carly got out of bed and stomped towards the door, "Thought I saw?! Thought I saw?! So I didn't see you with that little kindergartner waltzing around Kelly's?! How stupid do you think I am?"  
  
 _{Oh....listen to me  
And don't you dare say it's too late  
Now honestly  
You know she's only a passing face  
I am your meant to be  
Your eternity  
Shouldn't settle for anything less  
She may have your body   
But I own your heart  
To ignore this you'll regret}_  
  
~*~  
  
 _There you are._  
  
Jason thought in quiet relief, his hands gripping the door frame, "I don't think you're stupid, all right? Now, I'll talk to you about this but not through a door."  
  
"What makes you think I want to talk to you at all? What makes you think I'm not done with your crap?"  
  
 _Stay calm, she's upset._  
  
He took a deep breath, forcing himself to remain at ease, and responded softly, "I was worried about you, Carly. I've been looking for you everywhere."  
  
"Good!" She snapped, the anger in her voice obviously refusing to go away, "You should worry! You should go after me once in the million times I walk away!"  
  
 _The boy/girl thing._  
  
Jason reminded himself with a small smile, recalling her temper tantrum outside of Luke's after her fight with Hannah about...'her man'.  
  
Suddenly, to his surprise, she added something in a completely different tone.  
  
"Just go away, Jason. I came here to be alone, not to be with you."  
  
He bowed his head, trying to ignore the sting of her soft and sad voice, "I'm not leaving until I see that you're okay."  
  
~*~  
  
 _Damn it._  
  
Carly let out a small huff, uncrossing her arms and placing her hands on the door frame, and tried to make a decision.  
  
 _Argue like this all day? Or let him in to argue?_  
  
"Carly, please, open the door."  
  
 _You bastard, I swear if I didn't love you, you'd be worse off than Tony._  
  
She caved, slowly unlocking the door and facing down, as she pulled it open. Carly was not brave enough to look at him as she snapped, "There. You see? I'm fine, now go back to your four-year-old and leave me the hell alone."   
  
Without one glance up into his eyes, she tried to shut the door again, only to have his foot block that way. Then, before she protest, his hand was lifting her chin to face him. Instantly, she melted in response to the concerned look in his eyes.  
  
"You're not okay." Jason insisted, dropping his hand and pushing his way into the small room. The moment he was inside, their last visit here was knocking the wind out of him. It was almost enough to forget what was about to take place.  
  
"You just can't leave me alone, can you, Jase?" Carly stated angrily while slamming the door shut, "Ever wonder why that is?"  
  
"I saw you leave Kelly's last night."   
  
"You know what I am to you, and you're still to afraid to admit it."  
  
He snapped, angry she continued to ignore his words, "You're a pain in the ass. That's what you are."  
  
"Right, then tell me why you're here." Carly shot back, rolling her eyes when he said nothing, "That's what I thought."  
  
 _{Can you tell me that I'm not her  
Say I'm not the one who completes your world  
Who should share your name  
Who should wear your ring   
When I've always been your girl  
Can you tell me I'm not the one  
To be the mother of your unborn son  
May not have the tie but there's no denyin that you feel the same  
Cause I've always been your girl  
Girl, Girl, your girl.....}_  
  
"What do you want me to say to you? I'm trying to explain to you, and you don't want to hear a word I'm telling you."  
  
"Because I'm sick of you saying everything, but I want to hear!"   
  
"I'm not going to say something just because you _want_ to hear it!"  
  
"That's obvious!" Carly sarcastically grinned, leaning her head back, "Jason, I want you to leave."  
  
"I'm not leaving."  
  
"Why the hell not?"  
  
"Because I'm not leaving you like this."  
  
"Like what? Pissed?" She questioned causing him to look away, "It's not the first or last time I'll be pissed at you. So, just go back to little Liz and--"  
  
Jason was losing his cool, "She needed a friend. That's all it was. Why do you have everything something more than it is?!"  
  
"Because that's how it starts with you!" Carly retaliated, his disbelieving smile adding fuel to her fire, "Some little saint walks into your life, bats her Bambi eyes, and the next thing I know, you're just welcoming them into your arms! Then what? I'm stuck with your moronic brother for the rest of my life?! I don't think so!"  
  
"It isn't like that!" He shouted before adding simply, "I don't have to explain myself to you!"  
  
"Fine! Then get out of here! You don't want to listen to me?! I'm not putting a gun to your head! I didn't ask you to come here! I left you to rob the cradle and got this place on my own! To **be alone**!"  
  
Jason walked past her, wondering how he could have come here so unprepared for questions, and was stopped the moment he was about to step out the open door.  
  
"Let me ask you one thing before you go." Carly laughed in disgust and disbelief, not the least bit surprised he was really going to leave, "Have you ever wondered why all those women, all your little angels, all your goody two shoes have disappeared? Hmm? Have you ever once asked yourself why all those 'perfect' women are gone and I'm still here?"   
  
_{I am your meant to be  
Your eternity  
Shouldn't settle for anything less  
She may have your body   
But I own your heart  
To ignore it you'll regret}_  
  
He turned to her, the response evident in his eyes even though he tried his best to conceal it.  
  
"I may piss you off and make stupid decisions to prove a point, and the world knows I frustrate you to the breaking point. But I'm still standing before you. I'm still here doing that while all those other people have come and gone. Has it ever occurred to you that there's a reason for that?! For Christ's sake when are you going to figure it out?!"  
  
"What do you want from me? What are you looking for right now?" He saw her back down to the angry tone of his voice and chuckled, "What are trying to get me to tell you, Carly?"  
  
She calmed down, wrapping her arms around herself, "I just want you to _**admit**_ there's a reason for that. One besides being Michael's mother and being your best friend. Can't you do that _just_ once?"  
  
"Fine, I'll admit it." Jason snapped, stepping back into the room and closing the door close with an angry swing, "I don't want you to be AJ's wife. I don't _want_ you and Michael with anyone but me." Noticing her slightly pained expression, he went on more madly than before, "Not enough? Okay. You're right. There's a reason for you being here, _besides_ being Michael's mother, _besides_ being my friend. Is that enough?"  
  
She hugged herself tightly, aware she may have driven him to a point of no return.  
  
"Yes, Carly, I love you! I'm in love with you, and no matter how much I try to fight it, it's there!" His voice was quiet, momentarily as he asked, "Now, you answer this question. What's that change? What does me saying that to you change about our situation?"  
  
She said nothing, shrinking further and further back, not ever wanting him to admit any of this with the pain she now heard in his voice.  
  
He shouted a response when she failed to do so, "Nothing!" He ignored the urge to bring her into his arms as she stared at him with apologetic eyes, "It changes nothing! You're still with AJ, and I'm still alone with all those things that you want me to admit."  
  
"You think I wanted like this? Do you think I've ever wanted to cause you this much pain? Make you this angry?" Carly questioned, unable to take anymore of his fury, "I haven't. I don't. But you're not off the hook either, Jason. You can't tell me I'm valuable to you, kiss me so the world stops around us, and expect me not to be a little protective of what we've got."  
  
Jason bowed his head, thinking aloud and trying to convince himself more than her, "There's no we, Carly. It's still me and you."  
  
"No. It's we, us, together." She shook her head, tears beginning to escape her, and sat on the edge of the bed, "But it's getting to the point, where I ask myself--when is it enough? When is all the pain and anger enough to make me walk away?"  
  
Her words caused his eyes to shot to her. The sadness and shock of her comment immediately began to eat away at him.   
  
_{Can you tell me that I'm not her  
Say I'm not the one who completes your world  
Who should share your name  
Who should wear your ring   
When I've always been your girl  
Can you tell me I'm not the one  
To be the mother of your unborn son  
May not have the tie but there's no denyin that you feel the same}_  
  
"When I started dating, to Virginia's dismay, I--I received a great piece of advice that I had forgotten until last night." Carly ran her hands into her hair, sniffling softly, "Love is a battle. And when you start to feel the pain, more than the victory, it's time bow out gracefully and surrender." Looking up into his eyes, she asked the question neither of them ever thought she would, "Is that what you want?" Carly drew in a shaky breath, suffocated by the torture of the mere thought, "Do you want me to give up? To walk away and forget that there could ever be an us? Because I'm too tired to fight you anymore. You wanted this choice, and I'm giving to you. If you want a future with me, I will do everything I can to make it happen. And if you want nothing with me, I'll give up. End of story."  
  
"You really believe that?" Jason asked, trying to mentally distinguish his thoughts as they strangled each other. Grabbing the chair by the desk, he brought it to a spot in front of her and sat so they were face to face, "You think you could walk away from this?"  
  
"I don't want to. But it's not about what I feel anymore. It's about my sanity." Carly laughed softly, appreciative of the his fingertips stroking away her tears, "I was up all night thinking about my next move or--plan--or anything but how hurt I felt. And it occurred to me, there's nothing else." She paused, forcing back half of the on coming tears, "All I do is hurt anymore, and those brief moments where I feel like the world to you aren't enough, not now."  
  
He nodded slowly, surprised all this was finally coming out...he felt it under his skin for months.  
  
"I'm not a miserable person." Carly stated strongly, a sad laugh following, "No matter what people think."  
  
"I know you're not."  
  
"Which is why this stops. If you wanted Michael without me, it'll hurt. But after everything you've done, the least I can do is secure your bond with _your_ son. I'll get away from AJ with or without you waiting for me. That's not the issue."  
  
"What is _the_ issue?"  
  
"You." She replied easily, looking away when he stared at her with confusion, "I use to think love was enough, you know? That--somehow it would--overcome everything. But it doesn't. It goes up and down, and--it fades. Unless, there are two people willing to make it happen. To try and somehow--make sure that it stays strong. It really is a two way street." Carly laughed loudly, smiling with painful knowledge of the past, "I thought, for the longest time, if I loved someone just enough, just to the point where it was everything I was, I could get them to feel the same. It would--rub off, I guess. And everything else would fall into place, like a fairy tale or dream or something."  
  
Jason was listening, hanging onto to her every word and mentally keeping it in mind...for the future. And by the way she remained so vulnerable, he knew she appreciated the chance to say all she needed to.  
  
"If you're not willing to try with me, I mean--you never said you were, but I think I found the words somewhere." Carly found the strength to look at him once again, happy to see his eyes were still focused on her, "I thought somehow you had looked at me, or meant it by something you said just beneath the surface." She ran her hands along his cheek, afraid it might be the last time she could touch him with such affection, "I'm ready now--to hear the truth. Not for me, or for Michael, or for anyone but yourself, are you willing to try?"  
  
There was a long, silent period between them. The two of them staring at each other and saying goodbye to everything about the past. Because after whatever was said in the room, there would be no going back.  
  
Jason took one of her hands in his, using the opposite hand to tuck her hair behind her ear, "There was a time, when I would have wanted a choice." His comment caused curiosity to cloud her features, "Some place, a long time ago, I probably would have loved to have you tell me I could have Michael without--anything but a friendship to you."  
  
Carly nodded slowly, aware that he had been without emotions for her that place...a long time ago.  
  
 _{Can you tell me that I'm not her  
(I've always been right there)  
Say I'm not the one who completes your world  
(I've been by your side)  
Who should share your name  
Who should wear your ring   
When I've always been your girl  
Can you tell me I'm not the one  
To be the mother of your unborn son  
May not have the tie but there's no denyin that you feel the same  
Cause I've always been your girl...}_  
  
"I don't think it's a choice anymore." Jason added, her eyes meeting his with sudden hope, "My home is with Michael _and_ you. If Michael was there tomorrow, I'd be thankful and happy...but it wouldn't be home." His admission caused a thankful smile to emerge through her tears, "I'd miss your laugh, and your smile, and everything else about you."  
  
"So, that means?"   
  
The two of them let out a mutual laugh. Both fully aware little things were never enough for her. She always needed more, wanted things in big bold letters rather than small statements.  
  
"When I said I was in this for the long haul, I meant it. I'm waiting for both of you to come back."  
  
She crossed her arms, still somewhat unsatisfied, "What about _Ms_. Webber?"  
  
"I'm not going to get rid of my friends because you hate them, Carly." Jason said much to her dislike but added the words she needed to hear, "I'm in love with you, Carly. Elizabeth, Robin, no other woman means that to me. Just you."  
  
Carly grinned, rolling her eyes, and let out long sigh, "I guess I can live with that."  
  
 _ **Song Credit: "Always Been Your Girl" - Heather Headley**_


End file.
